Research with married Women Stated:
Well… it's an interesting question for me. So, ours was an arranged marriage obviously but in fully traditional way. My parents brought me his biodata over a year ago before I got married. I was in a complicated position in my life at that time regarding career, relationships etc. So I didn't even look at that piece of page at that time even though I gave my consent to my parents to find me a ‘Husband ‘.
Anyway, My husband used to live in abroad when we first started talking. There were timezone differences, job timing differences moreover we both never really considered ‘arranged marriage’ for ourselves before. So we two actually never showed much interest to talk over phone much even though we got one year before marriage to get to know each other.
I met him one week before the wedding and guess what? I HATED him! He was just kinda guy I distaste. I considered running away like a million times. I shed thousands of gallons of tears and what not! When the day came, I told my husband in the morning over phone, “let's be friends first before we start being husband-wife”. That was an indirect way to say “keep your pants on". He totally agreed ( he is a smart-ass, got my point instantly). I didn't wear any fancy undergarment. There's no way I was going to have sex with a stranger. I was confident.
The wedding was stressful, but for some reasons the moment I said ‘kabul', I started having a very different feeling. He was just the way he is. But I started having a keenness towards him. I hated him even the day before the wedding, but I don't know what the magic just happened with the ‘kabul'. Anyway, we got married, we went to his place. We were at the room after all relatives left us alone. There were candles and stufs. So like ‘desi wedding'. He went first to freshen up and then me. After changing and stuff, we said ‘good night', turned opposite to each other, grab a body pillow and went to sleep. We didn't even hug at that point.
Needless to say, I couldn't get any sleep. Nor did he. He was moving a lot in bed, so I could tell he wasn't sleeping. I never turned towards him for a moment. At 4 in the morning probably, I saw that my husband extended forward his hand to hold me but then he took it back. He was in dilemma whether to hold me or not. At that time, the first thing that struck me, he listened to me, he respected my decision… even now he isn't even touching me ( there was two pillows between us), so that I don't feel any pressure. I turned towards him, moved the pillows. He held me. We shared our first kiss. We made love. And guess what, even though he wouldn't do ‘anything ‘ as I wasn't ready, he was ‘prepared’ with everything!!
That was it. It wasn't fairy tale or something. But it's very special to me. We have been married for three years now and we fight like worst enemies. But whenever I start questioning ‘why am I still with him again’, I reminisce this memory of ours including a lot others, and I realized even if he acts like a jerk, he is the wonderful ‘jerk' I can get. I am lucky that I met him after 26 years of my life ( I resent him for that too!).
Well… it's an interesting question for me. So, ours was an arranged marriage obviously but in fully traditional way. My parents brought me his biodata over a year ago before I got married. I was in a complicated position in my life at that time regarding career, relationships etc. So I didn't even look at that piece of page at that time even though I gave my consent to my parents to find me a ‘Husband ‘.
Anyway, My husband used to live in abroad when we first started talking. There were timezone differences, job timing differences moreover we both never really considered ‘arranged marriage’ for ourselves before. So we two actually never showed much interest to talk over phone much even though we got one year before marriage to get to know each other.
I met him one week before the wedding and guess what? I HATED him! He was just kinda guy I distaste. I considered running away like a million times. I shed thousands of gallons of tears and what not! When the day came, I told my husband in the morning over phone, “let's be friends first before we start being husband-wife”. That was an indirect way to say “keep your pants on". He totally agreed ( he is a smart-ass, got my point instantly). I didn't wear any fancy undergarment. There's no way I was going to have sex with a stranger. I was confident.
The wedding was stressful, but for some reasons the moment I said ‘kabul', I started having a very different feeling. He was just the way he is. But I started having a keenness towards him. I hated him even the day before the wedding, but I don't know what the magic just happened with the ‘kabul'. Anyway, we got married, we went to his place. We were at the room after all relatives left us alone. There were candles and stufs. So like ‘desi wedding'. He went first to freshen up and then me. After changing and stuff, we said ‘good night', turned opposite to each other, grab a body pillow and went to sleep. We didn't even hug at that point.
Needless to say, I couldn't get any sleep. Nor did he. He was moving a lot in bed, so I could tell he wasn't sleeping. I never turned towards him for a moment. At 4 in the morning probably, I saw that my husband extended forward his hand to hold me but then he took it back. He was in dilemma whether to hold me or not. At that time, the first thing that struck me, he listened to me, he respected my decision… even now he isn't even touching me ( there was two pillows between us), so that I don't feel any pressure. I turned towards him, moved the pillows. He held me. We shared our first kiss. We made love. And guess what, even though he wouldn't do ‘anything ‘ as I wasn't ready, he was ‘prepared’ with everything!!
That was it. It wasn't fairy tale or something. But it's very special to me. We have been married for three years now and we fight like worst enemies. But whenever I start questioning ‘why am I still with him again’, I reminisce this memory of ours including a lot others, and I realized even if he acts like a jerk, he is the wonderful ‘jerk' I can get. I am lucky that I met him after 26 years of my life ( I resent him for that too!).
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